tomorrow's my birthday.,.

so tomorrow's my birthday.
my friends didn't really want to have a birthday dinner tomorrow seeing as it's a school night and we have finals and stuffs. i was like "that's fine, my dad is making my favorite dinner for my birthday" because we discussed it last week-ish.
he just called me to tell me he wasn't going to be home tomorrow for dinner so he are having my dinner tonight. i asked him what we were having to test his memory because i can't remember, but he might have been drinking or it was late and i know he has a bad memory because i get mine from him. he said "a nice lean steak"
steak is my least favorite meat. i've told him NUMEROUS times that i don't like steak. every time he gets it. it's like HIS favorite food. but whatever.
i got upset. like, i started tearing and sobbed for like 2 min. after we hung up.
idk why. i guess it's cause we finally eat dinner together almost every night now and he still doesn't know anything about me. i'd understand if we still lived in our apartment but not now. he should at least know what i like to consume. i mean, the time we spend together is eating.

i'm so jealous of my friends. most of them have parents who talk to them daily. half of them are close to their mom. i haven't talked to my mom in forever and it was probably on the phone last time we talked. it's like..i want to be family oriented, but my entire life i haven't felt like i was close to anyone in my family. and i feel like they don't care. maybe sometimes i "feel the love" but usually, it's like i'm the unwanted zit on the family. (that's usually not what i say, but there's a skin commercial on right now that made me think of it.)
i really need to stop writing on this in complaining format.

i feel like saying "today is my birthday nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh it's your birthday too, yea, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh"

if you read this, could you tell me you've read it. i feel so much better when i know someone is listening. whether it be figuratively or literally.